


the beat of the heart

by call_me_steve



Series: whumptober 2020 [5]
Category: Batman - All Media Types
Genre: Angst, Day 16: Hallucinations, Dick Grayson Needs a Hug, Dick Grayson is Damian Wayne’s Parent, Dick Grayson-centric, Fake Character Death, Fear gas, Gen, Hallucinations, Hurt/Comfort, Not Really Character Death, Protective Dick Grayson, Whumptober 2020, implied at least - Freeform, maybe ??
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-10-21
Updated: 2020-10-21
Packaged: 2021-03-09 03:22:18
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,499
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27127156
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/call_me_steve/pseuds/call_me_steve
Summary: Dick presses his hands on Damian’s chest, pushing down in a one-and two-and three-and beat. “C’mon, kid,” he begs, voice choking up. “C’mon, you can do it, come back to us.”The cold seeps in through his Nightwing blacks, despite the uniform being made to combat Gotham’s late night chill. He can already feel the tears dripping down his cheeks, rolling down and shattering against the concrete floor. Even though he can feel his arms and shoulders getting tired, he keeps thrusting down, listening for a choked gasp or a sharp breath, a cough or a wail or anything that will tell him that this kid beneath him is alive.He shoves down one last time, before reaching over and tilting Damian’s head back. He pinches his nose and breathes into his mouth, and then pulls up to take a quick breath of his own and listen for any changes. The process gets repeated twice more.Nothinghappens.
Relationships: Dick Grayson & Bruce Wayne, Dick Grayson & Damian Wayne, Dick Grayson & Jason Todd, Tim Drake & Dick Grayson
Series: whumptober 2020 [5]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1966846
Comments: 10
Kudos: 267





	the beat of the heart

Dick presses his hands on Damian’s chest, pushing down in a  _ one-and two-and three-and  _ beat. “C’mon, kid,” he begs, voice choking up.  _ “C’mon, _ you can do it, come back to us.” 

The cold seeps in through his Nightwing blacks, despite the uniform being made to combat Gotham’s late night chill. He can already feel the tears dripping down his cheeks, rolling down and shattering against the concrete floor. The only sound he can hear is the blood rushing past his ears. It swirls up and tears down everything in its path, driving Dick to the point of pure terror. Even though he can feel his arms and shoulders getting tired, he keeps thrusting down, listening for a choked gasp or a sharp breath, a cough or a wail or  _ anything _ that will tell him that this kid beneath him is  _ alive. _

He shoves down one last time, before reaching over and tilting Damian’s head back. He pinches his nose and breathes into his mouth, and then pulls up to take a quick breath of his own and listen for any changes. The process gets repeated twice more. 

Nothing happens. Dick returns to pressing down on Damian’s chest, hands shaking. 

“Chum,” someone says, sharply, yet softly, settling their hands down onto Dick’s shoulder. “You have to stop-” 

They say it like it’s  _ easy, _ like all Dick has to do is flick a switch and settle back. It’s  _ not easy- _ fear is a steady and strong driving force, and Dick can’t find it in himself to stop, because  _ just one more time and Damian will start breathing, just one more round and he’ll open his eyes. _ Dick’s so  _ close _ to saving Damian, he _ is. _ Just one  _ more- _

Bone cracks beneath his palms. 

There’s no shout or groan, no fluttering eyes. With a shuddered sob, Dick counts down his compressions, counting,  _ four-and five-and six-and- _

“C’ _ mon, _ Dames,  _ please- _ don’t  _ do this to me-” _

Arms wrap around his waist and pry him back. Dick’s hands reflexively go up to grasp at the arms, trying to pry them away. “Let  _ go,” _ he yells. “I have to  _ save him-  _ I have to-” As he scrabbles to get out of the hold, he’s lifted up and away from his little brother’s body. Damian just  _ lays  _ there, head cast to the side and his eyes shut, lips blue and body limp. The sight of it makes Dick’s heart still in his chest. 

“Can’t you see he’s _ hurt-? _ Let me  _ help him-” _

“Chum,” repeats the voice, this person he can’t quite remember. “It’s okay-” 

How can they  _ say that? _ There’s no way it’s  _ fine- _ Damian’s  _ not fine. _ His body is on the  _ ground _ and his  _ chest isn’t rising _ and he’s- He’s- 

Dick lets his next sob roll from his lips as he crumples in the familiar hold. His fingers dig into the dark colors of the Batman suit, gripping at Bruce’s wrists like he’ll go next. “Oh  _ God,” _ he cries,  _ “oh God.” _

Damian, his perfect, adorable, wonderful little brother. Damian, his tiny, strong, brilliant baby boy. Damian- now lying on the cold, harsh, Gotham ground. Now gone, because his chest isn’t rising and it’s sure as hell not falling, and his eyes aren’t  _ opening. _ Gone, all because of Dick and his split second decision that just took away one of the few good things he’s been left with. 

Unable to continue looking on, he rolls himself around in Bruce’s hold so he can loop his arms around his dad and bury his face in Bruce’s shoulder. His own shoulders shake, rising and falling uncontrollably in a way that Damian’s won’t ever get to do again. The further he melts into Bruce, the more he falls apart, sobbing like he hasn’t done in  _ years. _ He’d failed- failed to keep Damian safe, failed to complete the mission, failed to  _ protect _ everyone he swore to protect. 

He feels Bruce’s hand rub circles on his back, before it begins to urge him to stand up. Dick does, even though his feet feel unsteady. 

Bruce doesn’t withdraw his arm from around Dick until there’s someone else holding him up and pulling him away, leaving Bruce with all that’s left of his son. Dick chokes on another sob, spitting this one out viciously as his body threatens to fold in on itself again. He has to slap his hand against his mouth to keep from screaming- there’s a pain rising up through his chest. It’s not physical, he  _ knows _ it’s not physical. It’s the pain of a heartbreak, the pain of too much emotion swarming his mind. 

It hurts. It  _ hurts _ so bad he wants to tear himself apart, and maybe after doing that, he could go back to being with Damian. He could pull Damian into his arms and hold him so tightly that the entire world would be crazy to ever believe he’d let the kid go. 

“We’ve gotta move,” someone says, and it takes Dick a moment to connect it to Jason. His voice sounds watery and rough. Suddenly, Dick feels a pit start forming in his gut. Here he is, the older brother- falling to pieces instead of comforting his younger siblings-

And,  _ oh God, _ he thinks,  _ what about Tim? _

He calls for his younger brother, floundering in Jason’s hold. Tim had been near him, when Dick had made the decision that inevitably got Damian k- that got Damian- that did _this._ _“Tim-”_ he warbles, arms finding purchase on Jason’s shoulders. 

Jason’s eyes look glassy, but he only clears his throat and says, “Timmers is waiting for us at the car. Let’s go meet him, Dickhead.” 

_ Let’s go meet him, _ Jason says, and then doesn’t say,  _ and leave Bruce alone with Damian, and let Bruce mourn, because Damian isn’t only Dick’s little boy. _ Damian was Bruce’s first, but then Dick had gotten so  _ lucky _ to have him in his life, and now he’s  _ gone- _

Dick keens- at least, he thinks he keens. Whatever the noise he makes, it’s horrible and strangled. Jason forces him to start walking, so Dick begins to make his legs walk.  _ Left, right. Left, right. Left, right. _ Each time his foot hits the ground, it thuds up his body and makes his body shake even worse. 

Eventually,  _ somehow, _ they arrive at the car. Tim’s rubbing his eyes when he sees them. They’re bloodshot and his hair is a mess, and all Dick can think is,  _ oh, Tim. _

He breaks away from Jason and surges forward, pulling Tim into his arms. Tim makes a sound of protest, but returns the hug. While it’s not as tight as Dick’s holding him, it’s nearly enough to ground him. “I’m so glad you’re okay,” Dick says.  _ “God, _ Tim, I’m so glad you’re  _ okay.” _

Tim starts to pull away. Dick almost wants to force him to stay in his hold. At least while he’s there, no one can hurt him.  _ Tim _ won’t be taken away, because Dick won’t  _ fail  _ again. Not this time. Not with Tim-

“Hey, N, can you sit for me?” Tim asks, but it’s not Tim, it’s a man shrouded in shadows, his face curving into a horrible smile that makes Dick want to  _ scream. _

Hands appear around Dick’s arms, starting to ease him to the ground. Dick starts  _ fighting, _ because  _ Tim, Tim, Tim, _ Dick can’t let this shadow man hurt  _ Tim, too. _ More hands, a restraining hold around his shoulders, pinning his arms to his sides. Without thinking about it, Dick lets out a sharp cry, trying to kick his attacker away. He wriggles and screeches, fighting every step of the way-

There’s a sharp pain in his thigh, the kind of pain that lasts all of a second before sweet relief floods his bones. The terror subsides and Dick lets himself turn to putty, leaning into Jason’s hold. 

Dick has to force his eyes open and make them focus on Tim, who’s crouched before him. He suddenly feels overwhelmed and exhausted. If he could, he’d sleep for the next three weeks. 

“Are we okay, now?” asks Tim, reaching up to poke at Dick’s cheek. 

“We’re okay now,” Dick sighs, and- he goes ramrod straight, senses coming back. Jason’s withdrawing his hold, and Tim’s starting to stand, but-  _ “Damian-?” _

Footsteps round close, heavy despite the special soles in their boots. Dick turns his head and sees Bruce, in his arms lies Damian, his head cradled against the large black bat logo on Batman’s chest. His arms are slack at his sides, along with his legs. He looks  _ dwarfed _ in Bruce’s hold, even as the reds and greens shine when surrounded by Batman’s muted colors. 

Dick lets his eyes search over Damian’s body, his heart stilling mid-beat.

“Look, Dick,” Tim says, pointing somewhere on Damian’s body. Dick’s breathing starts to come in faster, a choppy staccato as panic overtakes his blood. “Look- he’s  _ okay.” _

Dick follows Tim’s finger, down to Damian’s chest-

It’s rising. His chest is  _ rising, _ and it’s  _ falling _ in a steady, constant beat.

Damian’s  _ alive. _

**Author's Note:**

> so,,,,,,,, if you have any ideas for any other whumptober prompts ;) talk to me on tumblr?? 
> 
> tumblr: [potato-reblob](https://potato-reblob.tumblr.com/)


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